Unwritten Social Media Rules

Somewhat ridiculous, somewhat infuriating
  1. If you're going to say 'HBD' don't say anything at all
  2. If you like my selfie, you know I got your back the next time you post your own
  3. Please do not have an unbelievably long interaction with someone other than me on MY post
  4. Me: "I don't care how many followers I have"
  5. Also me: "Wait did that asshole unfollow me? Oh heck no" *clicks unfollow*
  6. The rule being: if we are good friends, FOLLOW ME BACK...my posts can't be that bad
  7. If someone accidentally likes one of your pics from 2006, do NOT call them out on it. Screenshot that shit, tell your friends, do NOT mention it to the offender
  8. Even if you think your best friend looks like absolute crap in her new selfie, if it's already posted then like the shit out of it and spam her comments with at least 3 of these emojis: 😘😍👏🏻💕👅💯🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
    (The 5 fire emojis aren't optional)
  9. Don't post 3728292 pics a day on Instagram
  10. Refrain from using unrelated quotes found in any "Top 50 Most Inspiring Quotes About Life" articles
  11. If you MUST use corny quotes, AT LEAST USE QUOTATIONS. We know that isn't your quote, we just hope you do