A Brief History of My Facial Hair (in Order of Hairiness)

  1. This was the last time I had no hair on my face. I think I'm 7.
  2. This photo (taken with a potato, from the quality of it) was when I was cooking at a restaurant one summer. I was attempting to have a mustache, but it wasn't working out so well.
  3. The Hulk Hogan look really wasn't my thing.
  4. And neither was the Wolverine look. I look like I am a Civil War re-enactor on the weekends. My girlfriend at the time said she liked them but maybe she was just trying to keep other girls away from me.
  5. This was a good mustache moment. I look like I need entrance to America to get medicine for my extended family who all work in a copper mine.
  6. My last job at Habitat for Humanity had me working outside a lot, so I grew a permanent scarf. I typically only shave when I'm tired of eating my beard when I try to have sandwiches, and always wish I could immediately revert back to this.
  7. This is me at the fullest extent of my "Joaquin Phoenix in I'm Still Here" phase.