These all have my seal of approval.
  1. Answer every sex-related question with a yes. It's 2016!
  2. Make sure all your photos have at least three people in them, and you look different in every one. Keep the mystery alive. It helps if these photos are as out of date as possible.
  3. Include a line about how you're embarrassed to be "trying" online dating. It's good to let potential matches know that you've hit rock bottom.
  4. If you want to date or appear like a guaranteed asshole, make sure you're wearing camouflage in one of your pictures and express your love of pickup trucks. This is a unisex tip.
  5. Say you like all music. This lets everyone know right away you actually don't like music enough to have tastes, and being upfront about things is appreciated.
  6. Describe yourself as laid back. Everyone likes laid back people and no one lies on the Internet.
  7. Include a photo of you in a museum. Like, what even IS art? Maybe we can talk about it over coffee.