How Being A Recommended User Changed My Life

  1. I can get dinner reservations immediately, anywhere I want.
    I got seated at my favorite restaurant immediately, on a SATURDAY, even after they said there might be a wait. It was even a corner table on the patio. There's only one explanation.
  2. I have to fight off hordes of women.
    I have at least person a day like me on OKCupid.
  3. I can't go anywhere without being followed by photographers.
    My friends keep agreeing to take my picture with minimal prompting.
  4. My relationship status is tabloid quality.
    At least three people have asked how my breakup went.
  5. Everyone lets me pet their dogs.
    This was happening before, but now there's a good reason.