Politically Important Sexual Statistics

  1. Favorite sex position of Ted Cruz voters: General Discomfort
  2. Percentage of people who wear Tevas during sex voting for Bernie: 100%
  3. Sex least likely to orgasm during intercourse with a Trump Supporter: Female
  4. Percentage of Republican men that will keep asking if it's their turn while going down on you: 100%
  5. Percentage of Democratic voters comfortable with Bill Clinton/Monica Lewinsky role play: 30%
  6. Percentage of people with high school diplomas (or greater) comfortable with Ben Carson/brain surgery patient role play: 3%
  7. Number of times that "Feel The Bern" shirt got your cousin who goes to Hampshire College laid: 10
  8. Candidate most likely looking for a dom on Craigslist but will chicken out at the last minute: John Kasich