Steve Bannon's Fashion Tips
Haute Couture from America's #1 whiskey-soaked, pigfucking racist.
- •Trying to go casual, but don't want to look too relaxed? Try a rumpled dress shirt and shorts from Sears.
- •If your hair is turning grey, don't dye it. Grow it long to trick people into think you're a Ben Franklin Impersonator, and a True American.
- •Headsets make you look important. Are you a football coach? An air traffic controller? Maybe a telemarketer? No one will know for sure, but you'll definitely seem like you know what you're doing.
- •Make sure that you develop alcoholism to get the loose skin and broken capillaries that only come from throwing up rotgut booze all night. It shows that you're emotionally stable.
- •Moto jackets with diagonal map pockets let ladies know you have a hog, and maybe they can go for a ride if they'll sign this NDA.