The Ultimate Guide to Wine

Think that wine is complicated? Think again.
  1. Wine is made from grapes and foot sweat.
  2. Wine pairs well with all food. It is a common misconception that you have to pick a wine based around what you're shoving in your mouth.
  3. Wine comes in three flavors:
  4. White
    When mom wants to relax.
  5. Red
    When mom REALLY wants to relax.
  6. Rose'
    When your little sister wants to relax.
  7. Bubbles are optional, but typically only the very wealthy can afford the additional cost of them.
    All of these people prefer bubbles.
  8. Wine is typically served out of a large bladder, or bota.
  9. Less common are bottles, but you can occasionally find them.
    Good luck if you want to find one in a bottle.
  10. Wine also comes in a box, in case you would like to get very sick.
    It isn't the box that gets you sick. It's all the wine inside.
  11. Doctors say that 1-2 bottles a day is perfectly healthy and encourages restful sleep, typically on a tile floor.
  12. That's all you need to know about wine! Go try some.