Think that wine is complicated? Think again.
  1. Wine is made from grapes and foot sweat.
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  2. Wine pairs well with all food. It is a common misconception that you have to pick a wine based around what you're shoving in your mouth.
  3. Wine comes in three flavors:
  4. White
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    When mom wants to relax.
  5. Red
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    When mom REALLY wants to relax.
  6. Rose'
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    When your little sister wants to relax.
  7. Bubbles are optional, but typically only the very wealthy can afford the additional cost of them.
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    All of these people prefer bubbles.
  8. Wine is typically served out of a large bladder, or bota.
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  9. Less common are bottles, but you can occasionally find them.
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    Good luck if you want to find one in a bottle.
  10. Wine also comes in a box, in case you would like to get very sick.
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    It isn't the box that gets you sick. It's all the wine inside.
  11. Doctors say that 1-2 bottles a day is perfectly healthy and encourages restful sleep, typically on a tile floor.
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  12. That's all you need to know about wine! Go try some.