literally verbatim: cabo.

  1. "we should blow it up on the plane."
    in my defense, this was in regards to an inflatable raft.
  2. "yes I would like to have my boat shoes shined."
  3. *guy sneezes* "I think I'm allergic to beer" "I think you're allergic to marriage."
    clearly a bachelor party.
  4. "I'm newly single. I should have a shirt that says I'm newly single."
    to which @Debby yelled "please be joking."
  5. "on the cusp of sensible sounds like a panic at the disco deep cut."
  6. "we were targeted because we look incompetent."
  7. "they have this thing here. it's like pedialite for adults. I've been drinking a lot of it."
  8. "I made napalm a couple of times."
  9. "I know how to take a hint. I usually don't. but I know how to."
  10. "fuck yeah you want to lick my leg."
  11. "I'm really bad at counting."
  12. "I'm going to put my pants on to be respectful. even though I don't really care."
  13. "I've seen so many horrible nipples."
  14. "I love the flavor of jalapeño. just not when it poisons my mouth with its devil juice."
  15. "I mean, obviously I'd get rid of poverty. but next on the list would be cilantro."
  16. "is that a ghetto Selena Gomez?"
    one of @Debby's fans about me. I said yes.
  17. "I mean, obviously I'd get rid of poverty. but next on the list would be cilantro."
  18. "it's a speaker. I heard speaks coming out of it."
  19. "guys, I am crushing the peso game."
  20. "it's like the Beverly Hills of Italy"
  21. "we should do piña coladas. I need the potassium."
  22. "she didn't smell bad. she just looked like she did meth."
  23. "I think I threw up on an elementary school on the way home from a Paramore concert."
  24. "that's why they call it the sea. because you can see it."