HOBBIES I'LL EVENTUALLY GET INTO AND THEN SUBSEQUENTLY ABANDON FOR OTHER HOBBIES
There are so many things to get passionately excited about and then eventually forget about!
- •BirdingI'll spend all my time birding in either Central Park or Rural Maine so I'll only really get to know a very specific subset of birds. I will have a collection of interesting hats to wear, and I'll put stickers on my binoculars. I'll have a brief love affair with a fellow birder named Greg until we both move on to other hobbies.
- •Making my own cleaning suppliesFor an entire afternoon after I read an article about Jessica Alba and feel inspired! I'll give up after I make a mess in making the cleaning supplies and it will all feel like a cruel trick!
- •NeedlepointI'll make belts and key fobs and wallets and give them as gifts to all my preppy friends back East and I'll become so skilled at it I'll consider opening an Etsy store to target the highly profitable southern sorority market but then I'll get frustrated trying to figure out how to do shipping and will end up backing out completely.
- •KnittingWhen I'm bored by Needlepoint.
- •CrochetWhen I'm bored by Knitting.
- •GardeningThis will last long enough for me to attempt to grow tomatoes as well as at least one weed plant, but I'll end up killing both.
- •PotterySo I can tell people I'm "throwing clay in the kiln today" and really mean it.
- •OrchidsWhen I'm super old and watch the TV with volume up SUPER high and I have a lot of money lying around and all my husbands are long dead and I'd rather just be alone and devote myself to random pretty things like orchids anyway.
- •Neti PotAre neti pots hobbies? Sure. I'll fall in love with a yoga teacher and he'll get me really into regular neti pot usage for at least six months but when we break up I'll put it back in my medicine cabinet and never use it again and every time I think about it I'll get a little more grossed out by the whole ordeal.
- •Southwestern artSouthwestern art is basically just the evolution of Lisa Frank. Of course I'm gonna get into it. This feels like it's already happening and it's also simply inevitable.
- •ChickensBut after the first ones go through a few seasons and die I'll never get new ones. Naming them is fun, and fresh eggs are cool, but it's just so much work.
- •Millinery"I love hats so why not get into making them?" I'll say to myself on a trip to London, upon which I'll cancel my return trip home and take an apprenticeship under a milliner who looks like the Mumford & Sons who's married to Carrie Mulligan. We'll also have a brief affair but after a few months I'll decide that neither millinery or the milliner are for me.
- •NoodlingBasically fishing with your hands. I'll get really into this on a trip to Montana one summer and commit a week to learning everything I can and then I'll give up after like a half hour because fish are slippery little fuckers and I won't care enough.
- •Quaalude huntingThere have got to be some left and for a few weeks I'm going to get really obsessed with tracking them down but then I'll have a terrible experience with a long-expired 'lude and decide to stick with Ambien.
- •Glass blowingIf only so I can attempt to make my own pipe, at which I'll surely fail and instead end up with a simple blob of glass, which I'll tell everyone is a paperweight and "it looks that way intentionally."
- •StreakingThis is either gonna be a phase I go through this spring, or something I get into when I'm 80 because what else am I doing?