Well, @lucas, you asked for it (although I suppose I was asking for it by slipping in a reference on another list) This was about three years ago.
  1. First things first: we were set up by a mutual friend and former colleague of mine
    Who failed to tell me much about my date prior to the set-up, or that he was setting me up with a former reality star. He has not set me up with anyone since.
  2. I don't remember his name but he was Italian so I think it was something like... Marco?
    Wait, no, Marco was the name of the Italian guy I'd dated a month prior... I have a bad habit of dating a "type" for a few guys in a row, then declaring I'm done with the entire subset forever. Apologies to all the nice Italian men out there, but we have no future.
  3. Domenico!!!!
    I had to look up the cast of Tila Tequila Shot at Love on Wikipedia to remember this. Please don't look him up. Oh God you're doing it now aren't you? Just know I dated him a few years after the show aired and he was looking a lot more attractive.
  4. He called me. ON THE PHONE!
    Before asking me out he called me on the phone which felt novel and amazing even though it really shouldn't have but I guess I'd been dating a real string of losers up until then. Actually no, calling girls on the phone is something American guys my age at the time didn't really do which is lame. (This is why I now have my online dating age range set at guys over 30 only. Sorry, 29 year olds, call me on your birthday!)
  5. His Italian accent was VERY thick
    And I am terrible at understanding accents. Like so terrible that it's the easiest way to prank call me: use an accent. I won't know it's you and I won't understand a word you're saying. I do recall that he spoke fast and I just laughed a lot, but laughing was mostly a reflex. Fortunately we confirmed our first date via text, otherwise I definitely wouldn't have known where to go.
  6. Five minutes into our first date he tells me he has a daughter who lives in Texas with her mother, who he's on good terms with
    First guy I dated with kids but I was like, you know what? Totally cool. I'm 28, I can get down with this. And I thought it was good he was upfront about it. Unexpected but well-handled, and thus -- much appreciated.
  7. Ten minutes into our first date he tells me he is a reality TV star
    Maybe I've heard of it? Tila Tequila: Shot at Love! He was very proud of this, which sort of threw me off, but I couldn't decide if that was because he was European or just didn't give a shit. He said he had so much fun doing it but he really wanted to be an actor, although he was able to parlay the whole thing into starring in his own reality show for Italy's version of MTV as a semi-successful local DJ.
  8. I went with it.
    Because why not date a former reality tv star? Isn't this one of the advantages to living in Los Angeles? Anyway he was cute and into me and I'll try almost anything...
  9. After our first date he immediately texted me
    I loved how European he was. He didn't play games like other dudes, was telling me I was gorgeous every five minutes, sending me silly photos and generally not giving a fuck about protocol or etiquette. It was a relief. Although I did not enjoy that he started to call me "Ana." It was unclear if he did not really know my name or just renamed me.
  10. He had framed UsWeekly blurbs about himself on his walls.
    Annnnd that was when I started to think to myself... "Maybe not?"
  11. He was a great cook. Very Italian, in that we ate late and there was a lot of time (and wine) in between courses
    I don't like eating after 8pm which is obviously something I have to let go of for dating as it is, but I'm pretty sure we had a meal that didnt start until 10pm and didn't finish until 2am. I have the stamina to do this maybe once every six months.
  12. He was good at sex which also felt very Italian of him.
    But that's all I'll say about that. Oh and I don't think he ever had sex with Tila Tequila but I also really embraced ignorance on that one.
  13. One day he calls me and tells me he's filming a docu-series about online dating and if I want to keep seeing him and if things get serious I have to sign some shit that says I'm down with him dating me and multiple other girls and maybe also be on camera and his producer wants to meet me ASAP.
    Um. What? We hadn't been on that many dates at this point, I was already losing interest and I was about to go out of town for maybe two weeks, and also, again, WHAT? Daughter, former reality star -- all that I was cool with. But this? NO THANKS!
  14. I go out of town for two weeks, during which I am hoping he will just move on with one of these other girls he is dating, but nope, he calls and texts regularly and wants to plan when we see each other next
    Also I sill haven't signed anything for his show nor will I, which he's starting to figure out, although this doesn't make him any less pushy which at one point causes my brother, who's on vacation with me, to threaten to beat him up, which is laughable, but very sweet.
  15. I try to be honest and end things nicely with an "I just don't think this is going to work, we want different things, like you want to be a reality star and I don't..." Okay I didn't say all of that, but my reasons felt clear and not too offbase...
    Instead he gets pissed, tells me I am just as self-involved as every other "busy" American girl, calls me Ana again, says things in Italian I don't understand, and then radio silence until two days later he texts me to ask if that was just me he saw driving in a lambo on Sunset. I did not text back, because first of all THERE IS ALMOST NO WORLD IN WHICH I WOULD BE DRIVING IN A LAMBO ON SUNSET I RARELY GO EAST OF THE 405! And also because NOPE! Much like Tila Tequila, he was not my shot at love.
  16. Two weeks ago my friend who is a reality TV producer tells me she was catching up with an old co-worker, who mentioned an Italian guy she met online who had her sign paperwork to date him, and she did!
    To each their own! I guess he's now trying to sell the show. All I know is I will probably not watch it, if it's ever made, and I will hopefully never date another former cast member of Tila Tequila: Shot at Love, ever again. Other reality shows? Maybe.