IRRATIONAL FEARS

Please feel free to add your own!
  1. In the middle of the night a spider is going to lay an egg in my cheek that a gazillion baby spiders will eventually hatch from
    Those Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark books really messed with my head.
  2. The Big One
    The irrationality of this is debatable, sure, but I am convinced that every minor rumble is going to be THE earthquake that buries us all. Once I freaked out about this in New York and it was just the subway.
  3. My brother's cat is going to murder me
    This feels kind of rational sometimes because she is very fat and hisses at me when I come within five feet of her (for size reference: instagram.com/genevathecat)
  4. I'm going to die alone
    I think on the one hand death is a solitary act so like, DUH, we are all going to die alone, but I'm referring to my fear that I shall wither away in my old age without having had a spouse or children or anyone who loves me unconditionally and not even a cat because I'm allergic to cats.
  5. Mayonnaise
  6. I'm going to get some really gross STD in a hot tub and I don't even like hot tubs
    This can happen, can't it????
  7. I will suddenly and unexpectedly develop a life-threatening allergy to something I love, like pizza or cookies or weed
  8. I already peaked
  9. I'm a terrible dog owner
    I don't currently have a dog but I know one day I will, and what if I suck at it? I worry about this more than I worry about being a good mom to any possible future children I may have.
  10. Siri will become a sentient being
  11. The ladies who work at nail salons
    I am terrified of them. Are they talking about me? Are my nails weird of abnormal in some way but they won't tell me? Do they really think my color choice is a good or are they lying to me so I will sit down sooner? Did they actually sterilize those tools or are they making a big show of it all just to make me think they did?
  12. No one will want me on their team for the zombie apocalypse