NOTABLE GUESTS AT MY IMAGINARY DINNER PARTY

Dead, alive, fictional, non-human, etc. It's my dinner party!
  1. David Byrne
    But only if he wears the suit from Stop Making Sense and changes into the mall outfit & cowboy hat from True Stories for the dessert course.
  2. Princess Di
    Within minutes of her arrival I would go upstairs and change into a nearly identical outfit to whatever she shows up wearing and then pretend I totally didn't do that.
  3. Manu Chao
    The real purpose of this dinner party would be to get David Byrne and Manu Chao to play some jams together. I would probably start crying from the overwhelming emotions I would feel, but it's my party I can cry if I want to ya know?
  4. RuPaul
    Have you guys listened to the RuPaul episode of WTF with Marc Maron? Holy shit, that's some life-inspiring stuff.
  5. Kim Kardashian
    Obviously!!!!
  6. Freddy Mercury
    He could join in for a portion of the David Byrne-Manu Chao singalong but I'd also request he take an hour at the piano by himself.
  7. Lisa Rinna
    She would be so stoked to be invited and also unafraid to bring up taboo topics.
  8. David Duchovny
    The other purpose of this dinner would be to announce my impending marriage to David Duchovny. Is he aware of this plan? Tbd.
  9. Yoda
    I'd like him to drop some knowledge bombs on us, and also see Kim Kardashian teach him how to take a selfie.
  10. Bill Clinton
    He'll definitely ask me a gazillion times if he can play the saxophone and I will tell him no every time and to like, be cool about it Bill. I'd eventually get so drunk I'd give in, but I'd only let him play the theme song to Jurassic Park.
  11. Seth Meyers
    He'll help moderate the conversation as well as provide witty quips at ideal moments. Also I just want to stare at him and smile for a few minutes and watch him squirm.
  12. Beethoven
    The dog, not the composer, obviously.
  13. Miley Cyrus
    We'd get real stoned before, during, and after dinner. She'd also guide us through the arts & crafts portion of the evening. And I would make her sing Jolene and at least three other Dolly Parton songs (and Manu Chao would play his ukulele on maybe two of them, but more importantly they'd forge an unlikely friendship and end up releasing an album together!!!)
  14. Kaa, the snake from The Jungle Book
    I'd like to see him and Yoda interact. Also every dinner party is fun when you've got a hypnotist on hand!
  15. Beetlejuice
    This would be unintentional because someone, probably David Byrne, would summon him but then he'd be cracking us all up anyway so we'd pull up another chair and let him hang for a while.
  16. Haruki Murakami
    He'll eventually publish an award-winning short story in the New Yorker loosely based on the evening, even though he'll barely say a word all night.
  17. Surya Bonaly
    Figure Skating's most notorious rebel (well besides maybe Tonya Harding)! She'd wear a track suit and a whole lot of eye makeup and do a few flips to appease me, but then she'd regal us all with some good stories about the scene at the Olympic Village during Lillehammer '94 -- who was hooking up with who, how annoying Nancy Kerrigan really is, etc.
  18. Jesus
    Because we'd run out of wine and it's nice to have back-up. Also, what happened in those thirty years that weren't accounted for? Also, unicorns: real? Not real? Does he have any insider scoop on this one? I have a lot of questions.
  19. Larry Bird
    Wouldn't say one thing the entire dinner but who cares because he's Larry Bird.
  20. Kate Moss
    Because every dinner party needs at least one model-type, and also she'd have some great stories to tell. I would not let Kim sit near her though, because I worry Kim would fangirl way too hard. Kate would probably want to chat with Beetlejuice anyway.
  21. George R.R. Martin
    Except I would actually make him sit in a room by himself and force him to finish another book, or at least write another chapter if he wants to get that selfie with Kim.
  22. The Animaniacs
    They would keep Beetlejuice distracted and play a shit ton of pranks on Seth Meyers. And Wakko and I would get into a very heated discussion about snacks.
  23. Chris Bosh
    Much like Larry Bird, he wouldn't do a lot of talking, however he wouldn't need to because his facial expressions are so damn emotive we'd all know his opinions about everyone and everything anyway.
  24. Kimmy Schmidt
    Oh we would just laugh and laugh and make so many outdated 90s references! What a time! What a party!!!!!