THINGS I LIKE TO DO WHILE WATCHING TV

So many things. I have the attention span of a nine-year-old girl who just ate her first cupcake.
  1. Be alone
    I love watching shows with friends, but sometimes there's nothing better than a few hours of alone time spent catching up on your DVR. This is also what I often call "Friday night."
  2. Yell "make out!" whenever any two characters seem like maybe they should just make out instead of whatever else it is they're doing
  3. Shazaam songs
    This is mostly for all the CW shows, which continue to have better soundtracks than anything on almost any other network. It's also how I discovered Photay, the band that did the main title for MAN SEEKING WOMAN and is currently my go-to music to listen to while I write.
  4. Fall asleep
    I recommend the following crime procedurals as the best shows to fall asleep to: NCIS, BONES or CASTLE. If I make it past the first commercial break then it's a really good episode. But I don't think I'm ever awake to find out who the killer is. They're all unsolved mysteries as far as I'm concerned.
  5. Attempt to predict lines & plot twists
    It's so fun when you get stuff right. Also a little sad, for both you and the TV show you're watching.
  6. Eat snacks
  7. Smoke pot
  8. Laundry
    The best thing to do while watching most reality shows if you also have guilt about watching said reality shows and need to do something that qualifies as "productive" to remedy that.
  9. Organize my closet
    Another good one for reality TV. Also some of those Real Housewives have some baller closet situations going on and it can be very inspiring.
  10. Laugh
    At everything. This doesn't necessarily mean I think the show is funny, but laughing is my first instinct after breathing so I can't help it. When a show is funny then I laugh like a maniac. Also some shows I have a different laugh for. I have no idea why that is but when I watch FRIENDS, for example, it's a totally different chuckle from the kind of snort-laughing BROAD CITY elicits.
  11. Live-tweet
    I kind of hate doing this but some shows beg for it, especially when everyone else in your Twitter feed is doing it and you're watching the show alone so like, who else are you gonna talk to? This is really for THE BACHELOR or RHOBH.
  12. Text friends
    Depends on the show I'm watching but I almost always have a friend who watches too and will get a random stream of show-related text messages from me, because even if we haven't talked in a while I know they'll appreciate any TV-related ramblings.
  13. Paint my nails
  14. Go into an IMDB k-hole.
    Everyone on a CW show is either Canadian or Australian, by the way.
  15. Turn off all the lights and actually watch the show
    This is for the shows I really love, the ones that require total focus and darkness for a full immersive TV-watching experience. There aren't many but the few TV shows that I can actually lose myself in remind me of why I love watching TV in the first place.
  16. Wonder if I should be doing something else with my time...
  17. Have a panic attack
    This happens sometimes when I'm watching a comedy that I love and wish I was writing on, which then causes me to spiral into an existential crisis about how maybe I should spend more time writing TV than watching TV but then the show comes back from commercial break and I'm all like "what was I worried about just now" and then I'm like, "Shhh brain, I'm trying to watch TV here!" and then I usually end up taking half a Xanax and falling asleep.
  18. Stretch
  19. Keep watching TV
    A lot. I watch a lot of TV.
  20. Wonder if I watch too much TV
  21. Think about how much I love watching TV
    Sometimes I want to hug my television.
  22. Watch more TV
  23. Sudoku: doesn't take away too much time from TV and gibes your brain something a little more challenging than Fitz's fake war in West Angola.
    Suggested by   @videodrew
  24. Coloring books: Mel Elliott's are the best.
    Suggested by   @videodrew
  25. PEAK app: these mini-games supposedly improve everything from focus to memory. I do mine during sketch comedies.
    Suggested by   @videodrew