TOP 5 GUYS YOU MEET ONLINE DATING

A companion piece to @TheMattCatt's list, per his request. (When you share a small office you talk about dating woes a lot. Also, Matt, is my Tinder still logged into your iPad? Please logout!)
  1. The New-in-Town - "I just moved here and I'm looking to make friends or maybe go on a date but if we go out you have to pick the spot because I don't know anything about LA and let's be honest I'm really just looking for an agent/manager/producer/casting director!"
  2. The Life Enthusiast - "loving life and all its grand adventures, looking for a girl who feels the same. I'm into eating healthy and CrossFit!!!!! MUST LOVE DOGS, the kid is my nephew, follow my journey on Instagram!"
  3. The Nick Dunne - "I'm looking for a cool girl who is as comfortable staying in Friday night playing board games as she is raging at an EDM festival the rest of the weekend. Will watch sports and drink beer and manage to look hot while she does it!"
  4. The Creep - "You might have thought the photo of my dog and the photo of half of my face were enough to swipe right but you're going to regret that when I start a conversation with 'you look like trouble' and then continue messaging you until you're forced to block me!"
  5. The One - "I'm good-looking enough and my clever bio includes a thinly-veiled reference to pot. My pics suggest we have similar lifestyles, and I'll wow you with my witty banter before suggesting the best drinks spot where we'll proceed to have the perfect date. But you'll never hear from me again."