MY PROUDEST ACCOMPLISHMENTS
- •My journal of sad poetry written in the 3rd grade.
- •Having to be the Virgin Mary for Christmas mass and NOT dropping the porcelain baby Jesus. (Possibly 2nd grade?)
- •Having to pull a foreign object out of my dog's asshole last week.
- •Being an unfit mother to my tamagotchi.
- •That time I spent about four hours trying to shave my long hair cat. (Not a metaphor)
- •Crawling into a humongous ant pile in kindergarten.