Weird Things I Overhear

  1. "She doesn't even like cheese!"
  2. "I'll probably just drink whiskey straight out of the bottle"
    Walking in my local Walmart and heard this from a couple of mid-20s white boys in Hawaiian shirts.
  3. "How come there is no door on it? That's dangerous!"
    I was sitting in Tim Hortons by the window and you can see a guy in Drive Thru with a Jeep with no front doors. This lady in the booth ahead of mine said this and the older gentleman looked out the window and started laughing. Last time I checked, some Jeeps didn't have doors and they were perfectly safe if you wear a seat belt. It's the same as having a convertible with the top down. If you get in an accident with both vehicles, there is still a chance you'll get hurt. Doors or no doors.
  4. "He has this gorilla with this thing on it's head!"
    Said some guy at the Tim Hortons by my Grandma's house.
  5. "Thanks for the PTSD in middle school."
    said one white boy to the other white boy in Walmart.
  6. "Shut the fuck up Paula!"
    said a coworker under their breath to a Paula.
  7. "I'm not on birth control and I don't ever use condoms..."
    said one first year roommate in University to my other first year roommate. This blew my mind! Like how could one be so carefree like this? I'm scared of getting pregnant let alone an STI! You do you boo boo as long as you're safe about it - which she was not with her wanna be porn star moans you could hear from down the hall. Still not over it! She was a shitty roommate (And shitty is an understatement)
  8. "Such a fucking Asshole"
    said some white boy on a picnic table with his buddy.
  9. "Fuck Americans."
    said an American customer from Michigan visiting Canada.
  10. "AND they were best friends!"
    said some random person in a mall
  11. "Guess what Susan did this week? SHE WAS LATE." "Oh big surprise that is. She's always late."
    said a group of old ladies (which I'm guessing were not Susan) while I was cleaning tables at work.