E-MAILS MY MOM SENT ME WHILE SHE WAS IN EUROPE

My mom went to Europe for 4 months and we only communicated by e-mail
  1. France
    She sent me a million photos of toilets while scouting Versailles for the show she was working on. She had some very strong opinions on them.
  2. Venice
    She sent me an email reminding me of a simpler time when I used to enjoy going to crowded public spaces and having pigeons shit on my head.
  3. Venice pt.2
    I'm not sure. The line before this was "you were so skinny when you came back and you had teeth missing." Lessons learned: apparently I was once skinny, toothless, and trotting around Venice with pigeons on my head.
  4. Budapest
    I asked for a photo. She did not send one.
  5. Budapest pt. 2
    This email offers up lots of valuable advice re traveling in Hungary. I suggested she write a guide book with helpful tips.
  6. England
    Back in her mother country things were not going well with my Aunt (by marriage) Ruth. The breakdown: my whackadoodle 79 year old uncle (a million years older than anyone else in the family) fell down the stairs, broke his hip, and had to spend some time in the hospital. Ruth had a few dinner parties, went about her social life, then decided she was not getting enough attention. She is 82. Also my mom is very bad at typing.
  7. England pt.2
    All that stood out to me here is that my balding 82 year old aunt-in-law with very bad teeth is having an affair.
  8. France
    My mom's attempt at organizing a skype date.
  9. France pt.2
    How the tables have turned!
  10. France pt. 3
    I flew to Paris to visit her and received this e-mail promptly upon landing. An hour later I arrived at the hotel and can confirm, it was horrid. So #blessed that my 62 year old hip AF mother is an ageist.