HOW I GOT OVER MY EX (WITHOUT COLLATERAL DAMAGE)

  1. I realized that he never belonged to me.
    I had to have a hard look at the situation and tell myself that he wasn't mine to begin with and I wasn't his either. We were dating and had a title but it didn't mean we had control over each other's minds. In the end we are two different people with individual bodies and souls. We are separate human beings. Possession has a strong connotation and being possessive is toxic to you and the other person. You'll feel trapped in your desires if the other person's desires do not match up with yours.
  2. I started focusing on school.
    I was frustrated I wasn't getting much work done while I was with him. Being apart from him helped me reprioritize my goals and I was happier doing the things that would push me further in life. Aside from focusing on school I started rediscovering things that used to make me happy that I'd forgotten about.
  3. I accepted that things are the way they are.
    I didn't seek out revenge and neither did he. We let our feelings subside while acknowledging that they were there. By seeking revenge or trying to make the other person discouraged about your former relationship, you're engaging with your emotions that you were initially trying to resolve. Engaging in those emotions can leave you feeling more tangled and frustrated when things don't go your way.
  4. I started being more grateful for what I had.
    Saying "thank you" or acknowledging what is given to you shows other people you appreciate what they are doing. When you spread happiness then you feel more wholesome and at peace.
  5. I started to be around family.
    They helped me realize what was important in life. If they can make it so can I. There are far greater things that will happen to you and breakups are merely a ripple in the grand scheme of things.
  6. I wished him well.
    With my heart, my soul, and my body. He had left a residual mark on me and I embodied it and nurtured it the best I could. Three years later I'm sitting and my mind drifts to memories of us together. I wish that he is happy and finds someone better who can laugh with him and speak his language. I would love her for him. I wish his studies, family, and eventually children well. And I wish that he is content and at peace with his life.