Ever so caught up in your simple lady thoughts you forget to smile at the kind men looking at your breasts bouncing while you rush down to the ICU to visit your dying mom? Here are some fun sexy ways to respond to those nice men that remind you how much less like a monster you'd look if you'd just smile!
  1. Go in for a kiss!! 👄👄
    These guys are in it for the long haul. They're telling you to smile because they need to know what their future wife will look like on the altar after they untie her from her punishment chair in the basement. All they want is for you to make the first move! Give it a go!
  2. Hand him your most recent STD test results!
    A quality guy like that probably would love to know upfront what he'll be dealing with. If you've got a clean bill of health for your crotch clam, LET. IT. SHOW. Keep a solid stack of STD test results in your purse, one for each lucky bachelor you get gently harassed by!
  3. Better yet, put your STD test results on a shirt!
    Men don't like carrying big bulky items like paperwork or babies around (yuck!)! It's too much commitment! Why not just put your would-be boring STD test results on a sexy crop top?? That way, the men trying to force you out of your comfort zone have something to read while you tell your pretty female mouth to stop listening to your dumb female brain and just for once in your life smile and look like a lady for this nice man.
  4. Bow down to your new ruler! 🙌🏽😍🙌🏽
    Uh oh! Listening to a stranger telling you to smile locks you into a lifelong contract forever enslaving you into a life of sex stuff and household chores. All they have to do is say those magic words "hey girl why don't you smile for me?" And BOOM you're chosen! So pack your bags and prepare to move into the hellcaves of your new dark lord because love (and slavery!) is in the air!!
  5. Lock him in a sexy blood oath!
    It's this bachelors lucky day today because lucky for him, your horoscope told you to lock down the next man that's nice to you. At all. Even a little bit. Smile & look directly into this available guys eyes as you describe the blood oath you're about to commit him to! Find a grifter and murder him together for a sexy flirty first date you'll be sure to remember! You might be running from the law, but you'll be running right into the arms of your soulmate! Fingers crossed your prison is co-ed!😘