THINGS I NEVER EXPECTED TO SAY TO MY BOYFRIEND

  1. Aw, you folded my Spanx!
  2. I'm allowed to put ice cubes in my wine because I'm home alone.
  3. Can you please help me brush the cats' teeth this weekend?
  4. Run across that parking lot like the raptors from Jurassic Park.
  5. Can you sniff this milk? I'm scared of it.