Neglected to mention that I have a son from a previous marriage
  1. He loves pepperoni pizza hot pockets
  2. He is 12 and a half and very interested in boobs
    big ones, specifically
  3. He is an altar boy for our church but still likes to goof off by TPing houses at night
  4. His room is in our attic with the mice and the ghost of his great-grandpa
  5. He likes to sneak into the local college up the street at night and finish the equations left on the chalkboard
  6. BONUS:
    H e s b e e n d e a d f o r 7 5 y e a r s