Thank you for the impossible list request @anasha. It has taken me days to figure out how to address this.
  1. Fuck:
    None of them. Not even for a million dollars. They all look like they smell like dog shit and their personal hygiene is nonexistent. 99% positive they would all want to keep their shirts and shoes on during the act. Would for sure be selfish af lovers. And we haven't even addressed the legal issues of trying to have sex with mentally disabled children????
  2. Marry:
    None of them. I'd either have to be the sole provider or we'd be living in a trailer park. Would probably get proposed to in a gas station parking lot with a plastic 25 cent ring hidden at the bottom of a blue slushie. Their ideal wedding would be like a kid rock cruise with sloppy joes for dinner. They are all fucking garbage.
  3. Kill:
    All of them. Mercy killings. Either give them a bunch of pills or lock them in a closed garage with an idling car. Tell them to "go to sleep" and when they wake up, they'll be in like a cool junk yard or wherever the fuck they like to play.
  4. (Full disclosure: I actually haven't laughed this hard trying to compose a list in a long time. I loved this request)