HEALTHY WAYS TO GET ATTENTION

thank u tealizard (@combatdavey) for the request
  1. create a new twitter account that is really dumb
  2. bait corporate social media accounts into interacting with you and then pull a fast one
  3. Apply to a lot of jobs you're overqualified for and will for sure get
    Just kidding, you're actually not a good fit for them either so they'll never email you back
  4. Start a pointless fight with a loved one while eating a salad
    now it's healthy
  5. Systematically destroy your life one piece at a time
    someone's gotta take you to the hospital or morgue or jail at some point