I can't believe this exists
  1. Wow this really exists.
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  2. This is how the game opens
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    With shitty computer renderings of these familiar faces. Also, humans don't talk like this.
  3. Joe Pesci wants to murder you, and smile doing it.
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  4. Here we go
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  5. The first level is just you trying not to get hit by luggage.
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    And your life is measured in pizza slices. Which is sadly true for me in real life.
  6. Here's Kevin in the hotel kitchen, praying for a quick and painless death
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    I don't remember a deranged and murderous chef from the movie.
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    "You nerd!"
  8. Ok great level 2
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    But this time, she's Kevin's enemy? That's right, Kevin, pull the trigger on the harmless homeless woman.
  10. Ok good, level 3.
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    We were in the park murdering homeless people for 7 and a half hours!?
  11. You jump over floorboards for about an hour. And then:
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  12. Final Level!
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  13. Here's Kevin uses his "special move" which is just him sliding on his knees and killing rats
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  14. And now we're apparently climbing inside the tree at Rockefeller Center?
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    What the fuck is happening.
  15. And the pigeon lady's birds are carrying us to safety?
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    Guess she's not too upset about that mixup in the park where we wanted to blow her brains out
  16. Reunited with mom
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    And apparently doing some unsolicited advertising for New York.
  17. What an insane, dumpster-fire of a game.
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