HOW TO KISS YOUR MOM

Navigating the world of kissing your mom is hard these days. It can be difficult to figure out which way is right for you. Here is your definitive guide to laying a wet one on mommy.
  1. On the cheek
    A classic. Perfect for people who like their mom but don't like like her.
  2. On the mouth, but for less than 1 second
    A riskier choice, as any extended time can make things very awkward. Also some spouses consider even just one kiss "cheating" so ask your partner about their preference for your kisses for mommy.
  3. Let her kiss your cheek and pretend like you don't care
    Great for angsty teenagers and closeted Oedipussys alike.
  4. Kiss her with your arms, aka a hug
    While not technically a kiss involving the mouth, you may wet your lips and put on some gloss if you feel this makes it more official.