Inflatable ladies of my life, ranked

thank you for the trip down memory lane @nathanveshecco!
  1. 5.
    Michelle
    My first real girlfriend. We broke up so that she could pursue a career as a firefighter.
  2. 4.
    Tommy
    A brief hookup during an experimental interlude in undergrad. I loved him dearly, but he turned out to be an asshole. Fuck you, Tommy.
  3. 3.
    Brock
    My straight best friend and wrestling partner.
  4. 2.
    Inflatable @AsaAkira
    The one that got away. Broke up with me for inflatable @toniribas 😒
  5. 1.
    Melanie
    My ex-wife. Melanie if you're out there I'm so sorry, please come home. I told Jaedon if he prayed hard enough we would get back together for his birthday ;(