MY ARBITRARY RULES OF INSTAGRAM

I am a shining example of being the dumbest fucking person imaginable
  1. 1.
    If you post multiple pictures at a time, I will find the one I like the best and give only that picture a "like"
    this isn't Facebook, and I'm not a rational adult
  2. 2.
    If you double-post the same picture to Facebook and Instagram, you only get 1 like on one platform.
    No double-dipping! This is an important thing to be offended about!
  3. 3.
    Selfies are great, the more the better
    or maybe I'm just a creep who wants to critique your every flaw ;)
  4. 4.
    No posts of just text
    A picture is supposed to be worth a 1000 words, not like 24 in a glitter font. No screenshots of your texts either, but that goes without saying.
  5. 5.
    If you post a picture of you with people I don't know, chances are no like
    I'm not here for "Lisa from your grad program." Get lost, Lisa.
  6. 6.
    If you're posting a food pic it better look good and more often than not shot from an above angle
    love that shit, *like*. Also I consider this a definitive guide: HOW TO TAKE GOOD FOOD PHOTOS FOR INSTAGRAM (via @hels)
  7. 7.
    I don't wanna see any app logo in the corner of your pics
    what's the matter, didn't want to pay $0.99 for the upgrade? GET LOST, LISA
  8. 8.
    You trynna post a snapchat pic? To the gram? lol
    *scrolls past* *continues to live in mom's basement* *eats cereal for dinner*
  9. 9.
    Leave the memes for that subreddit you love to get upvoted on
  10. 10.
    If you're posting the exact same picture that someone else already posted and I follow both of you, I will choose favorites and only give one a like
    God complex, Napoleon syndrome, daddy-issues, etc.
  11. 11.
    Is that a heavily filtered picture of you drinking wine in front of the television? -1
    booze should only be consumed in secret, and in high enough quantities to temporarily make the voices go away. It's not for "enjoying" or "relaxing"
  12. 12.
    #TBT
    use sparingly, I only care about my own memories.
  13. 13.
    Videos/blurry pictures* from the nosebleed seats of the concert you went to are not welcomed**
    *good photos are; **my own life is one indistinct, meaningless day bleeding into the next and I don't want to see all the fun everyone else is having.
  14. 14.
    Find me on Instagram @ cadytrail if you'd like to leave a mean comment on a photo where I don't follow my own rules