MY PERSONAL BRAND, IN SOUNDS

  1. The sound of your computer trying to cool down after an aggressive porn run
    tabs on tabs on tabs
  2. The sound of a bro answering the phone in 1999 with "WHAZZZZZUP" and getting: "dude, Mikey's dead. You need to come home."
  3. The sound of a cemetery as your grandpa rolls over in his grave
  4. The sound of you practicing kissing on the back of your hand
  5. The sound of you lying to your mom about why you have a hickey on the back of your hand
  6. The sound of you shifting weight on a couch when you're watching a movie with your parents and boobs show up
  7. The sound of that woman being killed in the background of the 1975 hit, "Love Rollercoaster"