1. Look at my naked ass in the mirror to see if it's attractive
  2. Not cheat on significant others
    "Friday's for the wives, Saturday's for the girlfriends!!"
  3. Use condoms
  4. Lose whole afternoons to online shopping
  5. Trim my pubic hair
    "I didn't know I had another granddaughter!!"
  6. Turn off all the lights before I go to sleep and then run to my bed so ghosts/demons don't get me
  7. my online presence
    Honestly though this one's pretty valid.
  8. Karaoke Alanis Morisette's "You Oughta Know" without the help of the lyrics screen
    And get very emotional doing so
  9. Be the little spoon
  10. Get ghosted by most women
  11. Pay $30.00 for a haircut
    *rolls over in grave*
  12. Have my mom schedule and pay for said haircuts
    *backflips in grave*