WATCH ME GENUINELY TRY TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT ONE DIRECTION

I'm 26 years old and wear running shoes with my jeans. Here's what I know* about this band.
  1. they were a band of boys with English accents
  2. But they broke up
    they just want to do their own thing for a bit
  3. Harry is the mick jagger one who has a lot of tattoos and some crazy hair
    or at least used to have crazy hair he cut it and we haven't seen what his head looks like yet. But he kept the rat tail? Or took a picture of it for Instagram?
  4. There is a song by one of them called pillow talk and ppl really like it
    It's a bad boy departure from 1D
  5. We call them 1D
  6. Neil is one and he's kinda like a shy boy
    He's the one with blonde hair who looks like he might spit up if you don't burp him well enough
  7. Zayne's the bad boy
    He has stubble and uses curse words on twitter
  8. I guess there's a few others? Like there's probably one for every Cardinal direction
  9. Simon Cowell discovered them and just threw them into the spotlight when they were all about 12 and girls want to make kiss to them now.
  10. songs include: (1) the one about like "girl you have no idea how beautiful you are and that's exactly what makes you so beautiful"
    she apparently doesn't have a mirror and hasn't seen magazines or other ppl before?
  11. (2) like one of them drives a girl home but she gets out before he can get any so he's super sad about it. "Story of my life, man"
  12. *information unverified