WAYS TO MEASURE YOUR PENIS, RANKED BY EFFICIENCY

  1. 1.
    Belligerent and unnecessary acts of violence
    E.g., start a fight at a bar or yell at your significant other in public 🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌
  2. 2.
    Show your friends intimate pictures that girls have privately shared with you
    πŸ†πŸ†πŸ†πŸ†
  3. 3.
    Call a friend a "fag" for caring about something or showing vulnerability
    Simple but efficient! 🍾🍾🍾.5
  4. 4.
    Point out attractive women and remind your buddies what disgusting things you would do to them
    You would fuck her so hard. Add an inch if you already have a girlfriend. Add another inch if it's something you saw on Pornhub 🌢🌢🌢
  5. 5.
    Yell obscenities at a television when your sports team messes up
    You are more knowledgeable and athletic than pro athletes. 🌽🌽.5
  6. 6.
    Measure your penis with a ruler
    Very inefficient 🌭