Best Fake Presidents
It's election year and we're all fucked. Yeah, I said it. And while we're forced to choose between a giant douche and a turd sandwich we can dream about any of these fake presidents to take the edge off.
- •James MarshallGranted he let terrorists take over AF1, kill a lot of people, and crash the plane into the Caspian Sea but that just sent Pres. Marshall into a rampage that has yet to be matched by any sort of politician, real or fake. He fights, he shoots, hell he even volunteers to be rescued last because he's a true red blooded American who was hell bent on payback for what can only be thought of as the shittiest flight in history. The dudes got balls and I'd vote for him over any of our current choices.
- •Selina MeyerShe's a bitch and she'll be the first one to tell you. This foul mouthed, hard hitting woman doesn't need actual balls to have the biggest pair in the room. She'll tear you to pieces with her words and make you feel more insignificant than when your whole high school booed you at the pep rally junior year. She's one bad ass lady that I doubt anyone would want to cross in real life.
- •Thomas WhitmoreWith a looming alien invasion this president doesn't hide in his bunker but straps into an F-16 and goes to fuck shit up. As someone who grew up with a fighter pilot for a father I was actually inspired by that move. He was a mans man type of president who wasn't afraid of getting his hands dirty for the country. He didn't build a stupid wall to handle the aliens but dealt with them himself (Eat that Trump).
- •Frank UnderwoodIn a world of corrupt politicians this is a man I can get behind. If you're going to play the game and get your hands dirty you need to go all the way, and that's what Frank does. He's a corrupt politicians wet dream. I guarantee junior senators are wearing "What Would Frank Do" wristbands to work as they try to pass unpopular legislation. I know very little of how politicians actually operate but I hope there is someone like this in the real world because he wants it more than anyone else.
- •Jeb BartletThe cream of the god damn crop. Morally upright, went to an All-American school, and holds his staff to the highest level of integrity ever seen. In the long run of The West Wing Jeb showed us what being a president was all about. From being shot to dealing with his daughters kidnapping he handled himself better than any elected politician we have in the real world. He would have cleaned house this election year and we can only hope whoever takes office models themselves after him.