BIT ACCOUNTS TAILOR-MADE FOR THE LIST APP
I'm waiting for my friend to show up for dinner so I decided to brainstorm some ideas for any rascals out there looking to hit the list app scene with a good bit account and tips for how to curate each one.
- •Santa ClausAn obvious one. Pretty self explanatory. You only ever have two list types (Naughty / Nice) and then release updated lists constantly as though you were Adobe Acrobat. This is a long game investment one. And could get deliciously political.
- •SchindlerAgain, obvs go to and self explan. Would take just the right curation cuz obvs 😁. Lists would have to be things like "Best Summer Jams" or "Worst Bikini No-Nos." Keep it light. Cuz shit could get real Bikini No-No real fast.
- •The Sunny D kidAn account that is the kid in the sunny D commercial recounting what is in the fridge. The account is only lists of what his mom has stocked the fridge with dated Monday Tuesday etc. "Soda, Purple stuff, Sunny D, awesome." Sometimes, guys, there isn't Sunny D in there. Those are lonely days. I think the culmination of this character is he becomes Paul Ryan.
- •Paul RyanAfter your work as the Sunny D kid is done, you become Paul Ryan. It's a politics free zone. All his lists are his squat records, lift goals and protein shake recipes. One list is simply titled "Rebecca" with one empty bullet point. This is never explained. Then right back to squat records.
- •It's Tommy J, BabyThomas Jefferson for Millennials. Jefferson was famous for making lists. That's why the dude's Dec of Indy was so fresh. Practice. The main thing TJ made lists about were to advise his kids and grandkids about good conduct. Parents, amicorrect. This account would be Thomas Jefferson trying to appeal to millennials about their conduct. Some 👅 in cheek moments will arise from the context that he very clearly came up short conduct wise in a lot of areas...
- •Fake Martha StewartMartha Stewart is also a famed list maker. And a felon, which is sexy cool as hell. Hold on. I'm getting off track. Right, she is a well known list maker, so this account is lists of absurd recipes or crafts or projects like "Knitting a Hoodie for your childhood Horse" etc. Side note: I can't wait to follow real Martha Stewart when she joins the list app. Girl is sexy cool as hell and a great list maker for real.
- •Robert's Brother's Rules of OrderEveryone knows Robert's Rules of order, the established guidelines to run meetings productively. Well now it's Robert's Brother Gene's turn to make the rules!!! But Gene's rules are all terrible. Lists and lists of misguided rules. And Gene knows it. He'll never be Robert. Robert will make guest appearances, saying that Gene is shaming the family name. I think eventually the brothers come to understand each other. Maybe even respect one another.
- •Tomorrow's Test AnswersThis is an account that's run by the "school rebel" Ricky (not that it matters though it absolutely does but he's incredibly hot I'm probably picturing young James Spader because I always am). He steals all the tests from all the teachers at Thomas Jefferson High School (cross over potentch w Tommy J Baby) The lists are the various test subjects then each item is just a vague answer "1) Mt. McKinley 2) The Last of Days of Disco and so on." The lists of answers should get wild.
- •10 Year Old Spelling PhenomThis character is cocky as hell and 10 years old. He is like totally over Scripps because it's too corporate. The prof photo is a kid with a crown on his head holding a dictionary (I guess search Getty for this???) All the lists are like "Words I crushed today" and "Kids I'm Crushing in The Spelling Game" and "Teachers Holding Me Back From Glory." I see this being a favorite of Al Roker. There's no real reason for this hypothesis. Just gut speaking all the way.
- •The BlacklistJust those viral posters of James Spader that were everywhere a year ago posted over and over again in list form. I don't know how much legs this has but it got me thinking of young James Spader again and that ain't bad, baby.
- •My friend just showed upThis is not an idea for an account. Just a statement of fact. So I'll be going now. Though thinking on it, I bet you could do something with this. Soar high, listies!