WEIRD THINGS MY BOYFRIEND HAS SAID OVER THE LAST YEAR

  1. "Orgies are fun because everybody is just getting along"
    - said after I asked about his sexual experiences
  2. "Oh yeah... I love it when you whip me with your hair"
    - said as I was.. whipping him with my hair?
  3. "Woman I'm not gonna do what you want me to if your foot is in my pocket"
    - said when I asked for a favor but would not remove my foot from his pocket
  4. " I love broke back mountain"
    - Idk
  5. "Please get away from my butthole"
    - when I got too close to his butthole
  6. "Next YOU'RE gonna get YOUR butthole swiped. Be ready."
    - after I swiped his butthole
  7. "I pinkie promise you that if you ever try to do a shrek sexy role play I will leave and never come back"
    - said after I proposed a new and fun way to get down
  8. "Is there a seal in your butthole?"
    - said after I let out a particularly high-pitched toot
  9. "I love you so much...please get out of the bathtub"
    - said in an attempt to remove my bod from my comfortable bubbly abode