Ramona Quimby's Defining Moments

Reading the Ramona books to our kids and rediscovering the deep truths therein.
  1. Existential crisis involving Halloween mask
    If my mother doesn't know who I am, do I exist?
  2. Losing a shoe to the neighborhood dog
    Ramona starts the very first Tom's shoe franchise by stapling a shoe together out of paper towels.
  3. Refusing to leave her seat after being told to "sit here for the present."
    Where's her fucking present?
  4. Realizing that her mother sabotaged her plans to run away
    Turns out our parents really do love us.
  5. Lecturing the boys who tease her sister about the evils of taking the Lord's name in vain.
    "Jesus Beezus!"