Kids that make me shake my head

I found a notebook I used to write kids' quotes in today. Here are some highlights.
  1. "I'm so thankful for you for thanksgiving . I think you should catch yourself a turkey. No, I'm so thankful I'll catch you that turkey myself. Thank you." -2nd grade boy
  2. "You have skin like a vampire."- 2nd grade girl
  3. "Will you marry me? Before you say no I think you should know people say I'm going to be very handsome." - 2nd grade boy
  4. "Have you ever been baptized?"...... "Yes" - me "Man, I bet you're the best christian ever." - 2nd grade girl
  5. After Christmas break..."Are you married yet?" "No" "Are you pregnant yet?" "No" "Then what did you do all break????"- 2nd grade boy
  6. "I'm practicing my evil laugh...." -2nd grade boy Begins to cackle. He did this for weeks
  7. "You're so smart I bet you have 1,000 things in your head."- 2nd grade girl
  8. "Don't let me eat anymore candy"- me "good, you're already hyper!!! "- 2nd grade girl
  9. "I know what I want to be when I grow up! A food inventor! I'm always making good food. People will taste it and think ,'Man, he needs to be mayor.'"
    By good food he meant putting ranch on rectangular pizza at lunch.
  10. " You want long hair? Let me tell you what you gotta do. Go to the dollar tree and buy some of that long hair stuff. "-2nd grade girl
  11. "What did you do to your finger? You are not allowed to use a knife anymore." 2nd grade girl "I cut it on my light pull."- me "Well, you can't use that either. You'll just have to use a flashlight."-2nd grade girl