I teach first grade
  1. Kiss your brain!
  2. You have to keep your shirt on.
    The kids wear uniform shirts and almost everyday a kid takes theirs off after recess. Most of the time they have undershirts on....
  3. Please keep your shoes on.
  4. Zip up your pants.
  5. Why is your desk sticky?
  6. I need your eyes on me.I have 7 eyes, 8 eyes, 9 eyes.
    Counting up is a good technique with behavior narrating, however I always start debating in my head that I really don't have 7 eyes. I have 14. Eyes come in pairs. The kids don't know any better.
  7. Put a bubble in your mouth.
    Behavior technique to get them quiet.
  8. Catch a bubble.
    Same as above
  9. No, I don't have children.
  10. No, I'm not married.
  11. No, I'm not a lesbian.
    Ok I was only asked once... Coworker: are you married? Do you have kids? Do you have a boyfriend? Are you one of those lesbians.
  12. No, that's not my dad.
    When seeing a picture of my boyfriend on my phone. Kids ask if it's my dad every time my phone is out.
  13. Nope, not my uncle either.
    After I say no to the dad question.
  14. How would you feel if someone looked under your bathroom stall?
  15. Check Tony's socks.
    I have a child who steals everything and puts it in his socks.......... The child's name was changed.
  16. You'll be ok.
    I don't indulge in tears. Especially when they fall every 5 seconds at recess.
  17. I just gave you 5 pencils this morning.
    No matter how prepared I am kids are still always asking for pencils.
  18. Recess hug.
    Each kid gets a hug and a compliment at recess. They affectionately call it recess hugs.
  19. We don't run in parking lots.
  20. Please don't touch my hair.
  21. I love you