Things That Will Improve The World, According to Me

If I have my way
  1. People will stop "reaching out" to me and just call me. Like they used to. Before everyone was reaching out.
    An office supply salesman reached out to me last week
  2. Famous people will stop whoring themselves out for credit card companies.
    Samuel Jackson? JFC.
  3. When I call Walgreens they will shut the fuck up about calling 911
  4. When I ask for a tiny bit of whipped cream on my latte the barista won't act like I asked for Smucker's marshmallow topping.