HIGH SCHOOL RUMORS SPREAD ABOUT ME

  1. I was fucking my debate partner
    This will never happen for a variety of reasons 1) that we are two fundamentally different people who want fundamentally different things and 2) I am too focused on winning states to ever let this happen.
  2. I had sex in either the McDonald's or the Planned Parenthood parking lot.
    No!!!
  3. I worshiped Satan
    This was because I was talking about the IRS and religions, I think? I was mainly talking about how funny it would be if the IRS made distinctions between religions and cults. Would Satanists be a hate group, idk? My main theoretical religion was based on the 3 wives of Adam I spent so much time thinking about it. This was before I spent a lot of time reading about group rights but the line about what constitutes a religion/non-profit is so tricky (and should be revised imo).
  4. I wrote a poem about my friend's love life
    It was actually extensive notes on a couple of incidents in her relationship because I wanted to mine them for fiction/a joke one day.
  5. I applied to Stanford early
    I have no idea why so many people thought this. I'm a huge Joan Didion fan and I'm literally afraid of California?
  6. Someone was cyberbullying me
    People thought there was an account on Twitter pretending to be me but it was actually me and I'm just really self-deprecating bye!!!
  7. In conclusion: I have done nothing in high school.