THINGS IN TRAILERS THAT MAKE ME LAUGH TO THE CHAGRIN OF EVERYONE AROUND ME

I am the worst by which I mean the best person to see movies with. I am a purist in movie silence phone-checking except for the trailers during which I shittalk constantly.
  1. Every time Ben Affleck or Matt Damon claims to be an Oscar
    Not for acting ;)))
  2. When the cast is in alphabetical order
    You know some shit went down.
  3. When the trailer is completely different from the original tagline
    but the original lead is kind of being a sport and staying on but still wants the first billing.
  4. And Introducing...
    None of these people will ever get another job.
  5. In A World
    Write! Better! Copy!
  6. The five strongest jokes are present
    Director/Screenwriter not known for comedy+a trailer of all B+ jokes does not bode well for me.
  7. Being a summary of the movie
    The advertisement made its product redundant.
  8. Red Band Trailers
    I don't understand the audience of these? If it's that kind of movie you can tell by the green band trailer? Don't give away those gags?