Desserts I Am Not Making Simply Because I Have No Willpower

I can't have tasty stuff around the house or soon I will have no pants that fit. Right now I have just one pair (hooray for dresses).
  1. Apple Pie
    This season is full of unsatisfying apple pies (store-bought frozen crusts, burned crusts, not enough apple filling, too much cinnamon, apples too mushy) and I'm not going to be satisfied until I get me some exquisite apple pie.
  2. Coconut Milk Chocolate Cream Pie
    Holy shit. Making the filling with full-fat coconut milk makes it supremely creamy. Winning McWinningson.
  3. Free-form 🍎 Apple Tart
    This one is dangerous because I can justify it as healthy and therefore, breakfast.
  4. Drizzled Gourmet Popcorn
    The other night I made Muddy Buddies popcorn (peanut butter and chocolate shaken with powdered sugar) and that shit was delicious. The next one is going to be drizzled with white and dark chocolate and sea salt. I may be able to hold off on making this until tomorrow, but that's about as long as I can probably go.
  5. Cherry or Apple Cobbler
    See above regarding desserts that become breakfast a lil' too easily.
  6. Pumpkin Pudding
    My mother used to make this when she didn't feel like making pie crusts. It's the bomb but it screams for lots of whipped cream and that can be a slippery slope towards whipped cream on everything for the next two days.
  7. Caramel Apple Upside-Down Cake
    I saw this recipe online and I want it BAD. I love upside-down cakes! The best one I ever made was a rhubarb (no strawberry) upside-down cake and it was sublime.