This hard-to-fit and even harder-to-please customer is moving higher on my shit list every time she comes in.
  1. Customer (irate): "I bought these socks and when I washed them before wearing them, the elastic came out and the sock fell apart."
  2. Me: "I'm sorry about that."
    I look at sock, it looks perfect to me. She turns it inside out and points at a single thread. If you look at any machine-knit sock ever you are likely to see this.
  3. Customer: "See there? The elastic is coming apart. I don't want them."
  4. Me: "I'm happy to replace them for you."
  5. Customer: "No."
    Loudly places personal belongings on counter.
  6. Me: "Ok, well, I can give you store credit."
  7. Customer: "No. I want my money."
  8. Me: "We don't give refunds."
  9. Customer: "You don't, huh? I want cash."
  10. Me: "Well, ok. I will make an exception."
    In my head: To get you to leave as soon as possible.
  11. I process the refund and give her cash.
  12. Customer (sweetly) : "So, how's business been?"
  13. Me: "Um."