Reasons given to resist early 20th century children's literature

Leading horses to water that prefer high fructose corn syrup
  1. It's too hard
    Bet u don't say that shit to your boyfriend tho
  2. No one even talks like that anymore
    You mean speaks elegantly?
  3. I don't know half those words
    There are more words than the, and and it
  4. None of that happens now
    No interest in past behaviors and culture, then
  5. Boring
    You're confusing literature with your character
  6. And my personal favorite: Apple owns your life
    ??? Just say no thanks. my feelings aren't as hurt as the people's, in your future, expectations of your conversation skills will be...... but then again they'll be just like you