Why I make a horrible best friend

  1. When you feel like shit, I'll probably make you feel shittier
  2. When you're wearing somethings ridiculous, you'll know
  3. When your boyfriend says something stupid to you in front of me, you'll both know and then you'll defend him and I'll call you stupid af
  4. None of your other friends will ever be fond of me
  5. I don't really care what you think of yourself because I'll know your best and help you focus on that
  6. I'll listen to you repeat your mistakes and eventually stop caring the way you did
  7. I'll discipline your unruly kids and then you if you fight me
  8. I'll take your last donut and not feel guilty at all
  9. If you fall I'll laugh first then ask if you're ok
  10. I'll out drink you