What February Looks Like In My Phone

  1. A screenshot of Mike Pence crushing his balls with a Lincoln Bible after being aroused by the feminine contours of the capital building
    -the onion
  2. Email to check out my coworker's new LinkedIn skill
    I learned to use PowerPoint in the seventh grade, Larissa.
  3. Father Stretch my hands pt 1
    On repeat until I ruin it for myself
  4. A notification to update my phone
    From September 2014
  5. Uber recognizing ricks as home