1. Magically have a better looking face
  2. Get rich
  3. Lose 50 pounds
    Let's be honest, magic will have to be involved as well.
  4. Apply to be on the Bachelorette
  5. Get on the Bachelorette
  6. Go on all the fun dates
  7. Make it to the second to last Rose Cermony
  8. Get offered a rose
  9. Throw the rose on the ground
  10. Stomp on it
  11. Accuse her of seeing other men behind my back
  12. Storm out
  13. Become internet famous as a result