Sitcom Fight Club, Part I: Mindy Project Vs. New Girl

  1. Mindy Vs. Jess
    Things start off very passive aggressive, and eventually lead to an impromptu Walk Off á la Zoolander. When Mindy destroys, things turn physical. Jess is a hair puller and scratcher, but Mindy plays rough and dirty. Jess rips out a handful of hair, and Mindy goes crazy and punches Jess in the throat. She has to be pulled off of Jess before she kills her.
  2. Nick Vs. Morgan
    They are pushed into the center of the ring, and everyone is cheering them on as they circle each other. After several minutes of circling, the crowd starts to get annoyed. A few minutes later, Morgan makes the first move, and a vicious slap fight begins. After two minutes of slapping, they are both too physically exhausted to continue, and call it a draw. They go to the bar across the street and get drunk while assuring the other that they had slapped harder.
  3. Jermey Vs. Schmidt
    There is zero physical contact, instead they yell insults at each other while staying as far away as possible. Jermey claims to have slept with more women, but Schmidt insists that quality trumps quantity, and that Cece is way hotter than any girl Jermey has even spoken too. Jermey retorts that Schmidt's mom is way hotter, and they've done much more than talk. Schmidt pulls his cell phone out and throws it at Jermey's face, giving him a bloody nose and disqualifying himself.
  4. Tamra Vs. Cece
    Things get ugly, and they get ugly fast. They both have very similar fighting strategies, but Tamra is stronger and hits harder. Cece eventually flees out of the building, but Tamra chases after her, followed by Schmidt who plans on defending Cece. Tamra catches up with Cece in the street, where they then begin fighting again. Schmidt Interjects, and is knocked unconscious by Tamra. Cece gets a boost of adrenaline like a mother who's child is trapped under a car, but still gets beat badly.
  5. Winston Vs. Danny
    It's an unfair fight and everyone knows it. Danny is stronger, faster, and more agile, but Winston surprises everyone and blocks several of Danny's punches, but is too busy blocking to attack. Winston kicks Danny in the shines, and Danny demands the win because kicking against the rules, but its pointed out that there are no rules. Winston makes a comment about being a cop, and Danny says he didn't know, apologizes for the disrespect, forfeits, and thanks him for his service.
  6. Beverly Vs. Outside Dave
    There are some reservations about a male Vs. female fight, especially since Beverly is considerably older, but the employees of Shulman and Associates swear Beverly can hold her own. They engage in a wrestling match, and fall to the ground shortly after beginning. There is a lot of rolling and flailing, and it takes a while before people realize they are making out. Everyone flees while they begin making love. They are the winners, everyone else are losers.