Sitcom Fight Club, Part III: The Office Vs. Parks And Recreation

  1. Dwight Vs. Ron
    Ron is unimpressed when he sees his opponent. He makes a comment about how he has eaten steak with more fat than Dwight has in his body. Dwight attempts a roundhouse kick, which Ron attempts to block, but Dwight falls to the ground without making contact. Ron breaks out in giggles, and Dwight pulls out a large hunting knife. Everyone in the crowd is afraid, Ron is happy that he has a challenge. Dwight charges, but Ron knocks the knife away and knocks him out as he attempts to pick it up.
  2. Pam Vs. Ann
    Neither were happy about the fight, but Dwight promised Pam to come over anytime she needed to watch the kids, and Leslie pressured Ann into it. They circle while Dwight and Leslie yell for them to kill the other. Pam finally decides to strike, and hits Ann in the face. Ann is shocked and in obvious pain, and Pam drops to her knees asking if she's okay. They start talking, and discover they have plenty of things in common. They leave to talk more, as Dwight and Leslie yell at them.
  3. Jim Vs. Chris
    Chris is literally so excited. He's never been in a fight before, but he believes that his top notch physique will guarantee a win. Jim is haunted by all the times he's lost a fight, and decides he won't lose this one. The punches start flying, and it turns out they are equally matched. The Dunder Mifflin employees are surprised at how well Jim is doing, but really neither are good fighters. When Jim wins, Chris runs from the room holding back tears and dialing Dr. Richard Nygard.
  4. Meredith Vs. Donna
    Donna once participated in a fight club in Las Vegas, so she wasn't planing on going, but her plans got canceled. Turns out, Meredith had also been apart a apart of the same fight club, and they had fought. Donna had won, and Meredith is excited for a rematch. Meredith jumps on Donna's back. In the struggle to get her off, Donna accidentally rips Meredith's shirt off. The crowd gasps in disgust, but Donna is unfazed. She knocks Meredith out easily, and a man rushes to cover her exposed breasts.
  5. Kelly Vs. Tom
    Everything above the forehead is strictly off limits, because they both had their hair done earlier that day. Slapping and scratching ensue. Both are speedy, and both or weak, but Tom is marginally stronger, but lacks experience. Kelly was a bully in middle school, and learned to fight in juvie, so she knows where to hit to make him hurt. Eventually Tom gets the upper hand and beats Kelly, who asks how he doesn't feel bad for beating a fellow Indian immigrant. Tom says he's from South Carolina.
  6. Stanley Vs. Jerry/Garry/Larry/Terry
    Dwight promised Stanley that he would arrange for there to be Pretzel Day four times a year. Jerry just wants to win so the Parks employees don't make fun of him. They charge, and a brutal wrestling match begins. At first, it appears Jerry has the upper hand, but he has underestimated just how badly Stanley wants four Pretzel Days. He flips Gerry over and pins him, winning.
  7. Toby Vs. Leslie
    Leslie is appalled by Toby. He is so boring and uninterested in everything. She had always thought Ron was the Anti-Leslie, but now she knows it's really Toby. He keeps referring to someone named Chad, and talking about how he would kill in a fight. By the time they fight, Leslie is fed up. Toby attacks, but Leslie dips into all of her locked up anger and aggressions, and knocks him out in the first 15 seconds. The crowd has to pull her off Toby.
  8. Erin Vs. April
    April is excited for her fight, especially when she sees she'll be fighting such a preppy and happy person. She is expecting an easy fight, but is surprised when Erin hits first, and hits hard. Erin learned to fight in foster care, and April is week. When it becomes clear that she will lose, April begins to chant while swaying. Erin is mostly confused, but also afraid. When the lights start flashing, Erin runs out screaming. (Camera later catches April and Andy kissing by the light switches.)