Just in case you didn't see my previous list, I'm currently drunk
  1. Me: did you hear Ledecky finished 9 minutes before the 2nd?
  2. Mom: seconds.
  3. Me: yeah, 9 minutes.
  4. Mom: no, 9 seconds.
  5. Me: yeah, that's what I said.
  6. Mom: no, you said 9 minutes.
  7. She's on to me, guys
  8. Also, why does my phone want to change "drunk" to 😵?
    Like, I'm still alive, okay??