Special Interests, Talents, Hobbies, or Skills I Wouldn't Want to Share With a Child

So I'm applying to volunteer at an elementary school, and one of the questions was "what special interests, talents, hobbies, or skills would you enjoy sharing with a child?"
  1. I can watch The Office on repeat forever.
  2. I can watch 11 years of a tv show in two months.
  3. I once vomited in a car, filled up two large McDonald's cups, vomited more on the side of the highway, and didn't get any on myself or in the car.
  4. I can read a book and watch a tv show and still understand what's happening in both.
  5. I can write a 6 page paper (with citations) the night before the due date, and get an A.
  6. I can (usually) not study, and do very well on a test.
  7. I can sing the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song despite not having seen the show in +8 years.
  8. I can ignore life's problems like nobody's business.
  9. My hair grows really fast.
  10. I can draw stick people.
  11. I can sing an entire song without being in key once.
  12. I know almost all of the words from all of the High School Musical songs.
  13. I can drink liquids really fast.
  14. I once drank a 32oz strawberry daiquiri in under 5 minutes.
    This was not a great decision on my part.
  15. I can name eleven presidents.
  16. I can do multiplication problems up to 10X10 in my head.
  17. I can tell you how many days are in a month. (After I check a calendar)
  18. I can make Baked Macaroni Cheese, and toast.
  19. I once ate half a pizza by myself.
  20. I can perfectly tune people put.
    Sometimes, I don't even realize anyone is talking.
  21. Okay, now that that's out of the way, here are some talents/skills/hobbies/interests I could share with a child:
  22. ....
  23. ....
  24. ....
  25. Idk guys.
  26. I like hiking, but I can't take this kid hiking.
  27. I like reading, so I guess we could read together and he could improve his reading skills.
  28. I like writing, so I could help him with his homework.
  29. ....
  30. ....
  31. ...
  32. Okay, this list has gone on long enough.
  33. Did I put procrastination on the above skills? Because I'm really good at that. I should have been done with this application an hour ago.